After a year – one might call it an annus horribilis – in which football
became increasingly stoppage-infested and whistle-heavy on the field as well as
marred by race- and gender-based controversies off it, Hawthorn and West Coast
played out a so-so Grand Final in front of 98,633 M.C.C. members, corporates,
coterie group members, and other assorted hangers-on.
‘PLAY YOUR ROLE’ screamed a sign in the
Hawks’ dressing room, the club of the Liberal-voting I’ll-Be-Right-Jack eastern
suburbs nouveau riche telling its
players to be cogs in the machine. This is a team who know exactly where to be
and what to do at ball-ups, throw-ins, and kick-ins, coached by a man for whom
football is a sudoku puzzle he has
already cracked many times over.
Although Luke Shuey was the first to goal,
Hawthorn answered with five straight in the remainder of the opening term,
including a snap and a set shot from Cyril Rioli which got a certain
commentator’s blood pulsating. Down 1.5.11 to 5.0.30 at the first change, it
was possible to claim that i gialloblu
were ‘kickin’ themselves out of it’, but their loss would be about more than
inaccuracy.
The truth was that the Mayblooms were
simply better all over the park, and in hindsight, never looked troubled after
Luke Hodge, fresh from being fêted as ‘a good bloke’ by the incestuous
back-slappers who populate Melbourne’s football media, produced a wonder snap
from the left-hand pocket to open the second quarter. Before long, Jack Gunston
had added two goals from open play in the forward line, before Isaac Smith got
in on the action, putting the home side forty-four points up mid-way through
the period.
For the rest of the second term, and for a
bit of the third one, the ‘Weagles Web’ began to tighten. This tactical system,
in which the Eagles push their back pockets forward and their wingmen back, and
then congest space behind and in front of the opposing forwards, is hailed as
the greatest innovation in footy since Jack Dyer invented the drop punt. A goal
against the run of play and another after the siren made the score 9.3.57 to
3.8.26 at half-time, while a third consecutive West Coast goal, coupled with
two out-on-the-full kicks by harried Hawthorn defenders, brought the margin
down to an agreeable four goals.
‘STAY IN THE MOMENT’ read another fancy
brown and yellow sign in the Mustard Pots’ dressing rooms, but it felt as if
they were rattled. Two nagging problems remained for the Eagles, however: long
sequences of stoppages in their forward fifty which went unconverted, and the
unexplained disappearance of Coleman Medallist Josh Kennedy.
From there, the two sides traded goals
before another brace from Gunston and then a beauty from Isaac Smith, who roved
a loose ball in the pocket and slotted it through on the half-volley. Late in
the quarter, Matt Suckling became the last ever player to be substituted on in
an AFL match in place of David Hale, and he goaled almost immediately, putting
his side ahead at the final change, 14.5.89 to 5.9.39.
I
giallomarroni began the fourth quarter with two
goals. West Coast forward Josh Hill provided the crowd with some slapstick
entertainment, taking three bounces and waltzing into a seemingly open goal,
only to find his kick smothered by the on-rushing Brian Lake. With the margin
at a game-high ten goals, it was a procession from thereon in. Kennedy’s first
shot for the day (!) came with five minutes remaining and fell short. Jeremy
McGovern kicked two goals soon after to become the Eagles’ only multiple
goal-kicker.
With two goals, four score assists, eleven
score involvements, and some great lock-down work in the forward line, Cyril
Rioli was named Norm Smith Medallist, the third Tiwi Islander and second member
of the Rioli family to win the honour. It could equally have gone to Isaac
Smith, Hodge, or the possession-happy Sam ‘Knees’ Mitchell, and the overlooking
of James Frawley’s neutralisation of the league’s top full-forward (the AFL
website called it a ‘Kennedy Assassination’) by the selection panel demonstrates
the anti-defence bias typical of such a cheap-thrills, TV ratings-hungry league.
Tactically, this win was all about
Hawthorn’s domination of space. The Eagles had only played one match this year
on the M.C.G., and their defensive structures, honed on the long, narrow
expanses of Subiaco Oval, were ineffective. The Mayblooms racked up double
their opponents’ tally of uncontested marks and two and a half times as many uncontested
possessions; the width of the famous ground gifting them ample space in which
to play their trademark keepings-off footy.
Their total of 270 kicks was the highest in
a grand final since 1986; additionally, they kicked 104 times more than they
handballed (but at least forty percent of these were chip kicks to an unmarked teammate).
The Coasters, on the other hand, handballed more than they kicked.
West Coast won the
hit-outs, the total clearances, and the clearances from stoppages. Their
midfield seemed to hold up, but Nic Naitanui didn’t dominate Hawthorn’s
makeshift ruck unit as much as he might have liked. The ‘Weagles Web’, however,
was beaten, Hawthorn taking 17 marks from 59 inside 50’s compared to the
Eagles’ 11 from 40. The Hawks were also victorious in the tackle count, 59-45,
and in the crucial interchange rotation stakes, 118-100.
So what does all this mean for football,
the universe, and everything? We hear a lot these days about congestion and how
it is killing modern football (for example, my previous post). This was, by
modern standards, a somewhat uncongested match with only fifty stoppages, a majority
of which were in fact cleared by the Eagles.
But the fact that only twenty-seven free
kicks were paid (14-13 Hawthorn’s way) and only 104 tackles were laid in an era
when teams regularly hit the century mark in fiercely-contested matches points
to the lack of physicality in this match. This was basketball on grass:
Hawthorn chipping the ball around the perimeter until they could find trusty
old Cyril loose in the forward line, while Sam ‘That’s Why We Choose Swisse’
Mitchell racked up meaningless disposal stats.
Hampered by the M.C.G.’s greater width than
their usual stomping ground, and, like all good defensive teams, hindered by the
heat, West Coast were unable to take the game to Hawthorn.
Some are already bigging up this Hawthorn
side as (one of) the greatest ever. They certainly have the silverware, but
their brand of football is singularly suited to Gillard-Abbott-era Australia:
low-risk, TV-friendly, with a paradoxical mélange
of keepings-off and unrestrained macho aggression, all combined with a
win-at-all-costs club culture eminently attractive to the
haw-haw-get-out-of-my-way arriviste
bourgeoisie.
So goodbye to football for another season.
It’ll be back next year, with no substitutes, ninety interchanges, no
Goodesgate, and Paddy Dangerfield in the famous old hoops. Can’t hardly wait…
Hawthorn 16.11.107 – West Coast 8.13.61
Goals: Gunston 4, Smith 3, Rioli 2, Birchall,
Hill, Hodge, McEvoy, Roughead, Schoenmakers, Suckling (Haw.); McGovern 2, Darling,
Hill, Hutchings, LeCras, Shuey, Yeo (W. C.)
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